Probably you are wondering what the heck it is about, and who are Navaho Indians. Navahoes are one of the biggest tribes in The USA. And they still have very interesting tribal ritual. If you have any problem, you are in bad mood, you are frantic with negative emotions, then you have right to complain in front of other people from your tribe. You have right to do it exactly 3 times. 3 times that’s it. After the third time your listeners turn their backs on you. They show you that they do not want to listen to your problems any more.
So where is the empathy right here?
Keep on reading.
Then they add:
We are turning our backs on you because we love you.
We do not want your fears and bad emotions, and problems to take control over you.
Why is this simple ritual so wise? Energy is following your attention. The things that are given your attention grow. If you let the other person to talk about his/ her problems all the time you do not help her. You only help to add more energy, power and attention to the problem or negative emotions. You push her/ him toward fear and pain. Moreover, you become infected with those emotions. You are both stuck in these emotions, sorrow, problem. You are both stuck in weakness. Yes, it also poisons you and your emotions. And if you, yourself, keep on eternal analysis of your past, you maintain your sorrow, grief, past anger then you are stuck in this energy. Literally you are dead. You cannot move forward.
Ann is one of my closest friends.
She had a problem. With a man, of course. She complained she had received too little care and attention from him. In fact she was living in the state of uncertainty. He appeared and disappeared, he was uncertain of himself. We spent hours talking, analyzing , talking, analyzing and so on, and so long and around. I felt exhausted and devoid of my energy, literally. And the case was all over the same. We kept on repeating the same pattern. His escape, her fear, my “support”of this pattern. And I suddenly reminded of the Navahoe’s ritual.
I told Ann:
” Ann, turn your back . Turn your back on his fear and behaviour. This is the only way to help this situation, help him.
If you keep on following this pattern- his escape and returns you let it grow.
And me, I also let it grow keeping on listening to the same story all over again. She was angry. She did not want to talk to me . But for a very short time. Finally she turned her back. We changed the scheme, we broke the pattern. We all passed over THE ZONE OF WEAKNESS, the zone of energy of fear, the zone of poor emotions. And you. What pattern do you still support? Is there anything that you do not want let go? Is there anything you are not able to forgive yourself and others? Look at this. Say goodbye. Turn your back. And go. To your life. To New Beginning.
Hough – Joanna