“This is the truth. It is tireless. The truth will not leave you in peace. It pushes against you all the time, from everywhere showing how it all really is. It may tease and irritate”. – Neale Donald Walsch- Conversations with God – book 1″.
For sure you have heard the Bible saying “after their fruits ye shall know”. The fruits which are the proof of what you say, the actions you take. And you can read that it is more important what you do than what you say. And this is true. In conclusion, actions are the proof. Not what we promise, say, claim, but what we really do. But, there is another question. It is also important WHY we do something. The WHY meant as intention, motive to what we do. “The why” is fundamental to what we do. “Pure intention” brings “pure actions, pure decisions”. It brings internal peace, joy, harmony. Even if the decision is difficult at the first sight.
Feeling guilty, sense of commitment, shame, pressure, mission, sense of control, the desire to reciprocate, need of being accepted, need to be secured, so called comfort. These are the motives and intentions that often trigger our actions and decisions. These are the intentions that bring you internal dilemmas, incoherence, self-manipulation, self-deception. And there is another group of motives/ intentions. Love, peace, truth, sincerity to yourself and others. These intentions are pure. No hidden agenda. Purely, clearly, transparently. Even if it is difficult. How many relationships and professional relations are based on sense of commitment, guilt, sense of control.
Everything but love and truth.
Isabella, my friend. She was 42, 6 years after divorce. She is well educated, self-employed. She started dating the man of 54. She met him in professional situation. He was CEO of a big company.
When she started dating him, she told me that it was so-so. But he was a good person, intelligent, free and wealthy. She did not feel love from the very depth of her heart. She claimed she liked him, respected him and there were many things to do together. In her opinion he was polite, eloquent, clever.
And, it was important to her, he could give her material stabilization. She did not have to work so hard, because he could give her good life. And all the time she was making all long list of pros, and she was convincing me that it was a good choice. Well, if we mean logic- the list stood for pros. All list of pros. But one bullet point was missing.
Guess, what I mean? Love.
Not on the list. Not at all.
She convinced herself that it was good relationship, that she would be happy, because they have many things in common. You may ask- what is wrong about having a good match? What is wrong that someone wants stability, good life? What is wrong if they match each other intellectually, socially, they have similar value system? Nothing is wrong. Let’s leave the judgment.
I am just asking one question instead. Why did she convince herself so much about the relationship? There was wedding ceremony. They got married. After one year we met again. She kept on convincing me about her marriage. She emphasized the decision, even I did not ask her. Only her gestures, face expression, energy were not coherent with what she was saying. I felt a kind of constraint, heaviness, playing the role in front of herself. Later on we met another 1,5 year after. That time she spoke openly that she was in this relationship because of sense of commitment, some kind of guilt – he is a good person, and so called comfort and status quo.
She asked me about my opinion. In fact, my opinion is not important at all – I told her. What is important – How you really feel with it? What are your deepest feelings? Her loyalty ( she did not have affairs, she did not betray him, taking care about home, being a good intellectual partner). Good fruits. Good actions. Kind and noble behavior. Well, if it is so kind and noble, why are you so exhausted, sad, have no energy? Maybe just “purity of initial intention” was the key? Maybe pure intention fertilizes all the fruits with energy of joy, fullness, love, harmony? The rest, even if it looks good is rotten and frozen inside. Feel your intentions and final fruits.
“This is the truth. It is tireless. The truth will not leave you in peace. It pushes against you all the time, from everywhere, showing how it all really is. It may tease and irritate”. – Neale Donald
Walsch- Conversations with God – book 1″.